I’m sure what to write here right now. I want so much all the time it seems. I don’t know why. It’s just me I can get very impatient. Life can cause this, but really who’s to blame? Most of the it’s us. We do this to ourselves all the time and most of the time we don’t want to stop it or we don’t know how. I’ve prayed for patience countless number of times and I always receive it. Sometimes I’m not even thankful for this virtue that I am able to have.

            We all need to have a good mentality about ourselves or else we just become a wreck. We get messed up, stressed out, or just begin to fall apart. Who can save us from this repulsive feelings? Christ can. We must look to him and cast our cares upon his shoulders when we are in need of his help, which is most of the time that we’re here.

            Sometimes we are resistant. Why? That’s not right or righteous. Just accept it, accept what he is doing in your life even if it is not what you want. We won’t get what we want all the time. Face the facts that God loves you and he wants you to be more than happy, he wants you to have joy, for it comes from the Lord. So accept that joy and feel better about your situation. 

late night

I want to do this with more meaning involved. I guess I’ve always wanted to be one who didn’t stay within the box before and I still hold true to this now, but I do like consistency. I’m sure most of us do. Something’s are hard to explain sometimes. But I guess it’s like this I like to do this I like to write I know not everyone does but I do and since I do what I should write should sound better on paper and have more meaning than it has before. I’ve read blogs like this before, I read one like this on someone else xanga who I used to be friends with and one by Tim of Underoath who wrote about doing. You have to do something in life, and this is one the things I do in life. I guess I do well I don’t have enough criticism under my belt from peers or teachers to tell me this, but at least I can write coherently.

            Anyway now that that is settled I guess I should get down to business I switched to Blogger because I felt like Xanga and MySpace are too juvenile for me. I need an outlet that is more adult per se. And this is it even if my screen name is ninjajared. I still want keep this fun; I watched a video that was really an April Fool’s Joke about quiting cause of what he was doing became too much like work (which isn’t a bad thing). I hope I don’t hate work some much again as I used to in the past. I mean really don’t now but that is a totally different subject. I just want a place that’s more for adults, more mature.

            I still miss the village church. I still miss Pastor Dave’s Sermons, and of course I miss playing music every Sunday I knew I would miss that. It’s bad how much I miss the place but none of this should be blamed I mean it all came so quickly. I don’t think a lot of us had time to prepare for those last moments there, I know I didn’t. I wasn’t actually ask to speak at the last service, my wife was and if she was going to say something I would have stood by here and said something too. But She gracefully said no about that I know it would be hard for her to say something about it. It was an emotional time for all of us. And now we’re at a new church and the Mosaic Church has greeted us with opened arms, I’m still trying to find my way in there I want to be more plugged in than I am now, but it hasn’t been easy for me I want to play for Mosaic but I’m just not as good as they are I feel like I should’ve known this. I’m pretty much a self-taught musician I’ve had like one bass guitar lesson from Nick and that’s it. Everything else I have picked up from reading fake books and by just playing music either by myself or with other people. Sure I’ve played for a long time I can say with confidence that I’m not bad I’m a good bass player but I guess not as quick as some people are when it comes to learning new material, I have to work at it, but once I got it, I got it. So I still want to be up there playing music because I love doing it. It’s fun I get to interact with God and with people. Playing music has always been about fun for me but I always want to get better at it. I certainly do want get better at what I do in life that should be part of everyone’s goals in life.

            Well I guess have gotten a little bit more serious with music as of late and I would always like to record some albums and of course release them; I might as well do it on my own terms for right now though. So When I figure out some way of finalize these songs I have in my head and actually record them either on garage band or on something else, I’m gonna make an album, and I’m gonna sell it somehow. Through myspace (shutters) or Itunes, maybe tunecore if I get that thing to work.

            Well I guess if I’m on the topic of music there are two cd’s I want right now, they are MF Doom’s latest release, “Born Like This,” and Impending Doom’s new album, “The Serpent’s Servant,” I’ve recently heard some good songs from both of these. I’m surprised I don’t listen to more rap. I like it, it’s just hard for me to find artist that I like enough to buy their cd’s in the rap world. There’s so much explicit material in rap too it’s not good for me to listen too. It’s not healthy that is.

            School is almost over.

            I’m ready now. 

So I started this thing because Xanga is dying. look for new posts soon.